False Humility :Dragoon Reign and Personal Conflicts:

Readings
We just received our first exam in Math17 and I got 42(84%).. I was content, to say the least. I was just a couple of points away from the highest and my mistakes were minor things that I overlooked. I didn't care anyway, whatever I get.. because whatever it is I receive just reflects on how much I learned and understood. On a lighter note, it was my blue book that was on the top of the stack of blue books so they thought I got the highest. The one who got the highest score, 46(92%), however was this shy little girl who sits behind me. I remembered hearing her that she'll surely get a low score (and I said to her to be an optimist) and I saw her score through a brief lucky glimpse on the cover of her blue book. When someone asked around who got the highest score, I turned around (and they did expect that it was me) and referred to her. Well, she didn't want to admit it, really. She kept on saying "swinerte lang ako" or "tsamba lang 'to noh" (I just got lucky) to whoever who asks and partly to herself.

Now, with my past behavioral patterns, I would've dismissed the thought on "lecturing" her on it. This time, I said outright to her, "wag na wag mong sasabihin sa sarili mo na tsamba lang yan" (don't ever say to yourself that you just got lucky) and I wrote her a note during the discussion of the answers saying: "Whatever we get in life, whether positive or negative, is just a by-product of what we did. Believe in yourself and be happy with whatever you get. :) " and I really hoped that somehow, that little deed of mine would change the way she looks at herself, even if in a miniscule degree. I also have this seatmate that thinks of himself as stupid or dumb. (bobo) I told him not to put off himself as stupid because if he really is stupid, how the hell did he pass the UPCAT?? I didn't really want to use that example but that was the simplest thing I could think of at that exact moment and if I discuss the rest of my justification, it would take a lot of time.

So what's the point of my story? I just wanted to advertise my own good deeds. haha. :sarcastic: joke aside, I noticed that a lot of people make self-bashing and self-discouraging a regular habit. It's not a very good habit, really. I used to do that but now I've changed. Call me boastful or anything but these are my principles.

I believe that in order for an individual to function normally (due to a lack of a better term), one needs to acknowledge first their strengths and then their weaknesses after their strengths. Why? Because of this natural tendency of modern human beings to amplify what's wrong and disregard what's right. It's the same with constructive criticism, you start out with the good things and then the not-so-good things. In other words, criticize yourself constructively. I also believe that what you think of yourself is what you are. If you set limits to yourself, then soon enough, you'll reach those limits because you naturally set them within your comfort zone. Always believe in what you can do, because if you don't, who else will?

Never tell yourself you're an idiot, because chances are, you'll act according to your own expectations. Never allow other people to call you an idiot either, even through jokes because such small things creep in your mind horribly well and if you do, then you don't respect yourself. Always give respect to yourself but don't expect others to give the same respect to you as you give yourself because if you do, you just crossed the line from being confident to being a jerk. And you don't want that, do you?

EDIT: I counted my mistakes again and I shoul've got 44 instead of 42.. oh well.. not much else to do about it now.